Benedict LeVay .
This post is dedicated to a man who I spent
some time with at Midhurst Grammar School and about whom I realized in later life that I knew very little about. He was a year younger than myself and while we chatted about politics and I probably spent a year age 12/13 in the same dormitory as him, my memories of him as a youth are scant.
However, I do remember him being cautiously Progressive in his politics. He was, like me, pretty unremarkable at Rugby, the sport of choice at school. Whilst he was not someone I would have sought out, unless I wanted his opinion on something, which he was never shy of providing. I would never have tried to avoid him and he certainly had a good share of friends at school, Dave Rusbridge, Slim Barnes and Pete Rosser as well as the Challen cousins, Pauline and Nigel.
He was recently described by Jerry Flood, another former school mate, ” as being a heroic figure, 7 years older, a model of breaking the rules with style and giving us lower dormitories an image of humour and charm.” Well said Jerry whilst I had no idea how he behaved with younger boarders, this is a testament about how he is remembered, with a degree of admiration. He had a ready smile and was always willing to have a laugh.
Just prior to his passing, Ben had been very active on Facebook, pointing out various things that most of his old school mates did not agree with. However, as it is with brothers or sisters we would always find a way to forget his politics and consider him as a kind and decent human being. He was always passionate about trains and when I asked him about Train Travel in Spain he sent me a book on train rides in Spain and while it was not at all helpful, it was interesting nonetheless. He was also kind enough to give me a copy of The secret History of Everyday Stuff, which I have read pieces, of.
Our last meeting was at one of our Midhurst Grammar School reunions in 2019 to be precise. At the event we spend some time on St Anne’s Hill remembering those who are no longer with us and those who missed the event for whatever reason. I always had a special word for dear old Slim Barnes and what a lovely chap he was. A quiet, gentle giant and Ben was very appreciative of that because he and Slim were close, to the point I believe he was in contact with Mrs Barnes, his mother, after Slim passed, for years later.
One should not have regrets in life but I wanted very much to sit with Ben on my next visit to UK. The purpose was to have an understanding of his position. He had lots of Progressive friends, was he posting stuff on Facebook to wind them up or was his passion the kind of passion one has in supporting a football team? I suspected it was both of those and then something more. He was always interesting, provocative and someone I regret not getting to know better.
As requested by friends on Facebook, if you have Grammar School memories of Ben please post them on Midhurst Grammar School 60s Friends if you are a member. Alternately you can send them to me via email chris.cjmatthews@gmail.com and I will aggregate them and forward them as appropriate. His daughter Rebecca would like to hear more about his school times.
I did attend Ben’s funeral online and was touched by the memories of his good friends and family who he had clearly left his mark with. The last comment that I will make on the subject is that just before he left for India he apparently looked really healthy and as though he was enjoying life to the fullest and enjoying retirement.